What does Diwali mean to me?

At work, i needed to write something on Halloween and so i started reading up about it. i'm supposed to write banner and newsletter copy inducing people to buy flowers on this occasion. Since, i have never celebrated or even seen Halloween celebrations, i wanted to gain thorough knowledge about it to write better. That got me thinking, how much of the actual write-up that is floating around on the internet is part of the common man's celebration of such occasions? Diwali for example, the biggest of it all. As per one of the beliefs, Diwali is supposed to be celebrated for Lord Ram's return from his exile (banwaas). For Jains, it is the time when Lord Mahavira attained Moksha and contrary to pompous celebrations, one is supposed to fast for 2 days. For me, it's been about sweets, new clothes, puja at office (Pa's and later mine), bursting the shagun firecrackers, shagun rangoli, sometimes holidaying, buying gold on Dhanteras and stressful cleaning of the house... For many years, it was about going to Harish Kaka's home at Solapur and taking part in the puja. It was a time for togetherness, getting cash and going to neighbours' houses to eat sweetmeats flaunting new clothes :) i love the traditional Lakshmi puja, which always made me hopeful that it'll bring loads of riches into our lives. The thought is still so alluring :) We would then take off on a holiday to someplace close. Last year was the only year i was not home. i was in Australia with Maishu :) And believe me, no matter how comfortable you are in a foreign country, during festive times and specially during Diwali, you miss being home. Since the time i started working, i have hardly been part of the cleaning but still they do screw up the weekends. Then there is the stress of going to the beauty parlour and finishing shopping on time and sending out gifts on time. Since the last 2 years, we've been going to J's house for lakshmi puja. That is fun too. But it is sister's in-laws place :), so you know how it would be. I've a rule - for Diwali, New Year's and my birthday, no matter how many new clothes i have, i buy new clothes :) And that makes me extremely happy. i hope this Diwali is superbly different and superbly fun :) Amen!

Whatta song! *mesmerised smiley*

Beautiful! Am in love with this song....

Your love is like a star, shining in my heart
Lighting up my life it's true girl
Never felt this way before
I keep wanting it more and more
What would I be without you

You've shown me the love I've never seen

You've given me my world
I couldn't find on my own
Now I know what love is

Meri saanson se tere pyaar ki khushboo aaye
Tere aane se mere dil pe nikhaar aa jaaye
Dil ko tune jo chhua
Aisa mehsoos hua
Jaise sehara mein bhi bhoole se
Ghataa chha jaaye

Tera mera pyaar sanam, vaada hai kabhi ho na kam
Ban ke dhadkan tu meri jaanum base dil mein mere


Oh my, my oh my
I don't wanna hear you say goodbye
How much you mean to me
I realise, realise
Come near, baby come close
I'm not ever gonna let you go
How much you mean to me
Do you know

Tera mera pyaar sanam, vaada hai kabhi ho na kam

Good read

Reproduced from Paulo Coelho's blog. No wonder, he is my favourite :)

Reading starts from here -

When I was young, my parents sent me to a mental institution three times ( 1966, 1967, 1968). The reasons in my medical files are banal. It was said that I was isolated, hostile and miserable at school. I was not crazy but I was rather just a 17-year-old who really wanted to become a writer. Because no one understood this, I was locked up for months and fed with tranquilizers. The therapy merely consisted of giving me electroshocks. I promised to myself that one day I would write about this experience, so young people will understand that we have to fight for our own dreams from a very early stage of our lives.

When I realeased “Veronika decides to die”, a book that was a metaphor of my experience in a lunatic asylum, the press started asking me if I forgave my parents. In fact, I did not need to forgive them, because I never blamed them for what happened. From their own point-of-view, they were trying to help me to get the discipline necessary to accomplish my deeds as an adult, and to forget the “dreams of a teenager” .

Khalil Gibran has an excellent text about parents and children:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Why is it such a struggle!

Why is life such a struggle?
Struggle to -
not let anybody cut lanes and wrongly go ahead of me in traffic
reassure the folks that nothing is going on between me and my co-workers
let me take the car to work
make my own decisions and get support for it
accomplish the work (career) on hand with some accolades and internal satisfaction
buy a 'so-called' expensive thing
convince the folks to live life extravagantly
to eat what i want to

i know it's one's perspective and attitude towards life, but at some point of time, you want to live without having to explain to anybody. That definitely does not mean i want people to stop caring about me. But for once, can i make a decision and be assured that i am not going to be judged for it. Can i have unquestioned faith and support without a sense of despair on me? i don't want people to give up on me, i just want a few, real words of encouragement and belief. How many times do i have to prove myself and seek approval?

Life is not meant to be a struggle. It is supposed to be a celebration (it may sound bookish and artificial but it really is a celebration)

And i ask for a life full of happy celebrations.
A never ending party.
i know i deserve it.

Forward!

i did something phenomenally big.
i had expected an equally phenomenal change in myself after that.
i do realise that it does not come instantly.
i do see a change.

Would quote Ratatouille movie dialogue here -
"With luck... forward"
Amen!

Credited to Shashibhushan Udyavar

You meet so many individuals in your life.
In my office there is a cool mix of all kinds.

Among the niftiest ones is - Shashibhushan Udyavar a.k.a. Sasii, Shash, Sexy

To tell you about him in one word, he is just too good to be true.
But there he is, making you feel like life can be perfect.

He just casually said today that, "i never feel lonely"
me: "ohh... i know, there is a lot of work today, so there must be no time to feel lonely"
Shashi: "No, not work. i just am never alone"
me: "You must be having company all the time"
Shashi: "No, i just don't feel lonely ever"
me: " "

Yet again, i came away impressed and learned
:)

No wonder people like being in his company, because he doesn't let his own self feel lonely too.

Living life to the fullest?

What exactly is living life to the fullest?

Is it shopping incessantly even when there is no rhyme or reason?
Is it going on eating when the appetite is crying out loud to stop?
Or is it listening to the same song every time the headphones are on?

Answers anyone?

To the ones who are living it up and the ones who are keeping it low???

Determined!

Determined i am to lose weight.
Determined i am to not bite nails.
Determined i am to stand tall.
Determined i am to write better and consistently.
Determined i am to not procrastinate.
Determined i am to not stay up till late at night.
Determined i am to wake up early and fresh.
Determined i am to watch movies every week.
Determined i am!

Feels like a rainy July day in November

Just as i open the slides of my window, i see wetness around. Leaves dripping and cars speckled with water droplets. Cyclone-infested rains decided to show up in the middle of November.

?? What's happening... Is there something wrong with nature's health? Or are they filling up the deficit of this year's rainfall a little late.

It is not really a pleasant feeling neither is it saddening. Just concerning.

Is it a natural one-off phase or is it fury? Fury for mistreating the environment, of course. Don't know.

Actually, just watch without getting judgmental unless there is something substantial we do about the situation.

Preaching, believing and practicing

i keep preaching and thinking that one should accept people just the way they are.
i believe in it strongly.
i like to think and feel that i practice it.
Realised though that as much as i want and expect people to accept me just as i am, i don't practice the same.
From here and now, i shall accept one and all, as they are.
Just upgrade self.
:)

A fleeting glimpse of Ranbir Kapoor

Whoa.... my hands are still paining after all the pushing and shoving.
Yea...we did all of that to catch one glimpse of Ranbir Kapoor, the rock star.
The venue was the Provogue studio at Phoenix Mills.
Slated time to make an appearance 6 PM.

This was a promotional event for Ranbir's upcoming movie - Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahaani. He was accompanied by Katrina Kaif who also looked gorgeous.

me and my 2 other office friends hurried to Phoenix Mill at 1815. And the scene we saw outside the Provogue studio made us feel that we might not be able to catch even a glimpse. Hordes of young gals and guys had gathered and lined the gangway(to put it mildly).

Just as we were figuring out how would we do this arduous task of watching the stars, their car arrived and we were bulldozed to make way for it. In that, one of my chappals slipped off and i saw one of the security guards pick it up for the car to drive in smoothly.

Katrina peeked out of the car window and waved, so caught her for a teeny bit more than Ranbir. The SUV stopped and immediately Katrina stepped out followed by Ranbir. That was the first glimpse and man, it was worth it. One flash and the 2 stars went into the studio.

We stationed ourselves outside the studio, pulling, pushing, shoving, breathing, sweating, shouting. i got separated from my 2 colleagues and stood at a corner. And waited for them to step out. my phone hung up when the separated friend called, so i couldn't receive her call. They had climbed up the stairs to get a better view.

For around 40 minutes, we waited. And then, they stepped out. Katrina came out of nowhere just like a fairy. Dressed in a yellow top and a hair band (only so much was visible of her), she made a pretty picture. And out stepped Ranbir in his white t-shirt and side-parted hair. Man, he looked heavenly!!

Strong bodyguards protected them and made sure nobody could get near them. The reporters and photographers went click-click. So did the whole crowd with their mobile phones, but to stand on your toes, balance yourself and take a picture with your hands was a task, today for me, so i couldn't take any pictures.

By that time, i had misplaced both my chappals. i stood there barefoot keeping some perverts at bay.

It was some experience!!!!

i didn't faint or stuff but was close to it as people kept falling on each other. In between, there was an over smart dude, who kept saying that, itna hi hai toh sau rupaye ka ticket khareed ke dekh lona, nahi toh DVD, woh khareed lo. But he didn't move even one bit, just stood there enlightening people. Obviously, the crowd pushed him over to the other side.

When the car drove off and the crowd drifted, i looked for my chappals and found many others who were looking for theirs. One of my chappals was in the hand of my colleague and the other one i found too quickly.

We stepped into McDonald's to have some Coke and shared our feeling.

Woohooo.... some other day, i would like to have a rendezvous with Ranbir Kapoor, but this one would be a memorable one too.

Talk about adventure and liberation.....

i have always had this complaint and regret with myself that i am not adventurous enough. i don't enjoy my freedom fully. My idea of adventure was - doing things that are unnatural of me. Some things that i have never tried before and essentially those that come with a feeling of liberation.

And then suddenly i realised that i've been doing and have done quite a few 'different' things.

Yesterday, i came back from my Mama's place (Wadala) at 2330 all alone in my car (haven't told my folks about it and not sure how their reaction will be like, but nevertheless....). Initially, i was scared, even negative and skeptical. What if there is nakabandi, the cops could trouble me for being alone, what if somebody mugs me. i had even locked my car from the inside. But slowly, i realised that what is happening now is an adventure.

After a few minutes of absorbing the fact, i felt so happy and 'liberated'. i put on the music and manoeuvered myself to home. There was no rush to reach home quickly, no traffic to beat, no crazy honking and no overtaking. It was not exactly like my 'so-called' notions of adventure, but again nevertheless....

And that got me thinking, actually speaking i have always had my small adventures. my life is not that boring also and without any efforts, life has thrown some pleasant adventures on me.
1. When my parents forcibly, emotionally blackmailed me to take them to some relatives' place i stayed in the car like a driver.... :)
2. i have seen 2-3 movies alone. An English play too.
3. This is too little of an adventure. i walked down on the rocks of the Worli Sea Face. Climbed down from the promenade and stayed there for a few moments. Didn't go too far.
4. Joined a group like Board Games Bash. Attend it regularly.
5. i once hit a motorcycle man while taking a wrong turn. Dealt with the police, gave my address and wrong cell phone number. Was shit scared but when it got over, i felt stronger.

That's all i can remember right now. Probably, the ones that i can't recollect aren't all that exciting after all. But with each endeavour, i feel a great sense of freedom. Something that adds to my character.

These days, i have got this immense desire to get a tattoo done. i was absolutely against it, but now things have changed. i think, for me, this will be the most liberating experience ever. A change that i cannot reverse, as this will be for life.

Looking forward to much more and much bigger....

Car parking manners

i have been taking the car to work since a few days. My office is in an industrial estate where super rich textile mill owners, printing presses, studios and the likes abound. It is a task to find parking space so I leave early from home.

There are watchmen at various places to guide and stop you from parking at an inappropriate place. And in the area, there are many buildings and a specified parking lot for each building.

Yesterday, i came in at around 1020 hours and found 2 parking spots just opposite my building. So, i pulled in the car in the open space when the watchman came and told me not to park it there. He said, "i can't let you park where regulars park. i accommodated your car the other day as a one-off thing. But if you are bringing it everyday then find parking somewhere else."

i told him that no space is allotted to anybody. So, whoever comes first parks it. Besides, if i work here why would i park somewhere else. i have full right to park the car here. You can come to my office and tell me if there is any problem, i'll move my car accordingly.

He grumbled but did not argue any further and told me to park the car in the far right corner. i did and told him that i'll leave by 1900 hours.

Then, in the evening, at around 1915, i stepped out of office to go home. There was a blue Maruti zen parked ahead of my car. The watchman had left by then so i enquired with the nearby drivers to find out who the car belonged to. After some talks, i found out that it belonged to somebody on the 2nd floor. A guard went up to the office and came back with the message that the car owner's driver has the keys and has gone for some work nearby. He'll be back soon. Sensing that it would take time, i went up to talk with him myself.

It was a deserted small office. i found a young man sleeping. His eyes were open and was looking here and there. i asked him where is the owner? He took me up the loft stairs again and showed me in. It was a dingy place. There was this middle-aged man with a temple tikka on his forehead talking to somebody.

i asked him to move the car and he repeated what the guard had told me previously. He said it’ll take about 20-25 minutes. Politely, i told him that i'll have to wait now. You should have kept some spare keys with you. i went down and waited for around 35 minutes.

While i was waiting, few of the drivers, guards and the temple priest told me that this car doesn't have any driver. The owner himself drives it, which meant that this man was making me wait for no particular reason. i was getting furious as i was climbing up the stairs. Just as i was reaching the 2nd floor, i saw this man coming out of his office hurriedly. i asked him, where is your driver? He said, here, the driver just came with the ladka. i said, i didn't see him coming up. i asked the watchman on the first floor. He denied having seen anybody come up. i just went down with boiling anger.

This middle-aged man got into the car and told the guy who had parked his omni van next to our cars, to park it elsewhere. His tone, demeanour all sounded shaken and guilty. And i started giving him a piece of my mind. i did not abuse him or stuff. But my voice had risen and i made my disgust very clear. He kept replying with words like – nahi beta meri aapse kya dushmani hai?

He moved his car away and was waiting at the gate.
I waited too.
He got nervous.
I kept waiting.
He did some fidgeting.
I was staring at him.
He started his car.
I started mine and followed him.
That’s the least I could do. Pinch him.
He drove himself, no driver, no child.
Guess his driver only keeps the keys and does not drive around the boss.

Such a @#$#$$%%^%#$@#$

I felt like breaking his car lights, deflating the car tyre and anything that would make him realise his folly. I took pictures of his car number plate and if my anger doesn’t subside, I might do something to teach him a lesson…..

That @#$@#$^#$^#$%^#

Bout of negativity

Sometimes, I feel stupid, insecure, sad, defeated (battling with my own self), exhausted, small, inept, irresponsible, empty, lonely, left out, dejected, incapacitated, negative.

Smileys :)

Just fascinated and amazed at the use of smileys, so often and so varied.

Some of the situations, i observe they being used, are:
1. First - time conversations where you want to create a comfort level.
2. IM conversations regarding work in office.
3. When you want to get your work done.
4. When you want to say something firmly without sounding strict.
5. When you find yourself smiling in the middle of an online conversation.
6. When you want to say a lot but are at a loss of words, the smiley says it all.
7. When you want to be sarcastically funny.
8. When you want to be polite and ignore the other person's stupid comment.
9. When you realise your folly.
10. When you want to ask for forgiveness.
11. When you want to sound funny (obviously)
And it goes on......

There are so many expressions they convey. i only use and identify the most basic ones,
:( - Sad smiley
:D - Laughing smiley
:O - Surprised smiley
;) - Flirtatious (kind of...) smiley
:p - Teasing smiley
....but there is a whole lot, out there.

They really are a cool usage. Wikipedia credits a few men for inventing it. i think they did a really good job.

Aah...and i just realised that the hyphen in between the colon and the round bracket is for the nose.
:) - without nose
:-) - with nose

Doesn't really change the meaning but i am just too fascinated.
:)

Board gaming is the way!

Jenga
Pictionary
The Game of Life
Taboo
Jenga Truth or Dare
Cluedo


These are the games i brought home, today. Wow! it is so much fun.
i plan to play one every day.
Yey!

Long time.....

It's been a long time since i've written. Maybe that has got to do with J's wedding
i was busy, yes. But happy too. All of us. There was enthusiasm, subdued though. And the wedding, it was fast forwarded. Before we could think, it got over.

But at the end of it all, there was a sense of satisfaction and a fulfilling completion or rather a beautiful beginning.

:)

Some more space in the wired world!

Isn't the heading complicated? i think so too.

It only means that i now have a new blog.
This blog is dedicated to my views on the plays, movies and books that i witness.

There is a whole new world that speaks to you through these medium.
i want to explore it and let the world know what i felt after the encounter.

People, please read it.
Here's the link - http://www.me-reviewz.blogspot.com/

The White Tiger is beautiful!

i just finished reading the book - The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga.

i borrowed it from Sonal who had got it from somebody else. She wanted it back quickly 'cos she had to return it to the original source. And so, i stalled reading Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie and began reading it with an intention to finish it quickly.

There was no need to, as is it is just too unputdownable. Line after line, word after word, the book smoothly takes you into its snug, gripping fold.

It is a story of two disparate worlds that exist side-by-side, sometimes hand-in-hand in the society. A smart kid belonging to the lower strata of the society sees the world of excesses (partially) through his boss's eyes.

The world of excesses is duly filled with extremities of corruption, plastic relationships, cruelty and what not. Of course, the plot is set in Gurgaon and Delhi, which exemplifies it even better.

It surprises me and also startles me to see, how the blue-collared guys are treated like goods when they are human beings with flesh, blood, feelings and emotions. And how these poor guys go on living with crushed souls and battered hearts.

The story travels through the journey of this poor guy and how ultimately he shakes off his martyrdom status and gives a fitting reply to his boss.

All in all, it is a story with a practical and strong heart.
A worthwhile win, an even worthy read.

Super exciting is what?

There have been many things happening here.

Like -
1. Superb birthday celebrations this year
2. A long list of gifts, the best being iPod Nano 16 GB (dhin ka chika dhinka)
3. Even grander b'day celebrations for J
4. Even bigger gifts for her (am excited about her gifts ;))
5. Am taking part in a wall design for Indigo Cafeteria
6. Underdogs is the name of the team and we are a bunch of underdogs, but strong-headed, nevertheless and with fire in the belly
7. Attended the Indigo party (not too happening)
8. Eating mangoes, yummy

But still, its not exciting enough.....