Last Day of 2008

It is the last day of 2008. So, what's the big deal! Of course, it is a big deal. i'll be spending the day at home with my books, movies and food for company :)
Ok, let me list down a few of the things i am grateful about, a few of the high points and highlights of 2008 -

1. Standing on my own two feet :)
2. Joined gym
3. Had a fantastic family get-together at Solapur
4. Saw a new place - Aamby Valley
5. Bought a ring for myself, all by myself (first big purchase, feels great....)
6. The last of my friends got married (yea...am the last one)
7. my favourite cousin relocated to the US (will miss her, already do)
8. Added to my collection of books (amply)
9. Added to my collection of DVDs (outnumbering Pa's collection :), well...almost)
10. Danced on the stage where people paid & came to see us dance :)....Mauja hi Mauja...(was it great, did u ask)
11. Shiamak Davar rocks
12. Ties with Devangi get stronger (movies, dinner at home, night out)
13. First sip of alcohol & stopped at it (tastes awful)
14. First movie - Bhootnath - outing all alone (good stuff)
15. First English play - Class of '86 - all alone (exciting stuff)
16. Bought a whole new lot of clothes (yipppeeee)
17. Had a great picnic with work friends
18. Gifted expensive watch to J (a la Shahrukh Khan :))
19. For the first time in my life, won a housie game (whooo hooo)
20. Got myself a pen drive (getting tech-savvy :))
21. Found a nice friend in Nayan
22. First work related trip (to Delhi, i have grown up, world)
23. Enjoyed good hospitality at Trupti's place (understanding a different life)
24. Drove all the way to Solapur (wow, some drive that was)
25. First d____ outing with cousins
26. Watched movie in the first multiplex of Ghatkopar

2009's gonna be rocking, to say the least!

Face-to-face with on screen stars

Yesterday i saw Vidya Balan at the Crossword store at Imax theater. With that, the list of artists (actors, actresses, painters, socialites, etc) i have seen within a distance of 20 meters goes something like -
1. Anupam Kher
2. Siddhharth Kak
3. Rajat Bedi
4. Aishwarya Rai
5. Anil Kapoor
6. Amol Palekar
7. Jehangir Sabavala
8. Yash Birla
9. Vidya Balan
10. Smriti Irani
11. Amitabh Bachchan
12. Arjun Rampal
13. Farhan Akhtar
14. Ritesh Deshmukh
15. Falguni Pathak ;)
16. John Abraham
17. L. K. Advani
18. Sonal Mansingh
19. Hiten Tejwani
20. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
21. Sonali Kulkarni
22. Bindu
23. Shiamak Davar
24. Pandit Jasraj
25. Javed Akhtar
26. Durga Jasraj
27. CM Ashok Chavan (26th January, 2009)
And a few TV artists...

So, what's so great about getting to see the stars in person? Nothing actually!
i don't have autographs of most of them. Didn't feel like it.
How about knowing a few real life stars?

5 Weddings, 9 New Dresses, Calories Addition and a Few.....

Phew!
With yesterday's grand wedding through, the row of important weddings (where you got to not just attend, but stay back till late and wear outfits that show that you are closely related) is done.

All the weddings were from the maternal side, (mama's daughter, masi's daughter/son) so met pretty much the same people. So, dresses also couldn't be repeated, which was a good thing for me :) So, the new dresses.

Of the 5, 2 were really lavish and big scale. The 3 small ones were warm and intimate. The lavish ones, of course, had scrumptious spread of food, to say the least, of all kinds too. So, the calories.

The entire jamboree, revelry was exciting.

And weddings are the one time when there are a lot of potential matrimonial set-ups being planned. Which is good fun. But watching it from a distance and being a part of it are 2 different things!

Had a great time!
Indian weddings, haa....

Angry!!!!!!!

(Scorned)
(Furious)
(Provoked)

!

It is time now to attack.

Too much of letting them walk all over us.

Too bad dear! Now it is your time to pay and suffer.

And a sincere request and am sure and thankful to you Almighty for making them suffer.

Let them know what it means to punch somebody where it hurts the most. And again and again.

Truly enough!

i pray and consciously and truly want them to be pained. Real bad.

"Saam, Daam, Dand, Bhed"

Hee hee rambling, bad versing, random

A little bit of spice, a little sugar, a little hope and a little dream
If they all come together and conjure up a reality
Sweeter than a dream, almost like magic
Destiny taking the right turn!

Gave 150 bucks to the TC at Currey Road station.
Pass expired.
Made a few excuses and tried to cover up, but had to shell out the money.
Felt good that i paid for my mistake.
No debts. No regrets.

Will make some more attempts at writing bad poetry, verses.
Am reading 'Midnight's Children'.
Forgot the book at home today, so the train travel was boring.
Missing the book.

Got some important stuff to deliver today, but can't bring myself to do it.
Shucks, don't feel like working in the weddings frenzy.
Guess what will happen when i get married myself????????
:)

Jerry Mcguire Mission Statement (ii)

Some more........

"Putting words to paper is a sacred thing. It's more than a phone conversation, it is a document."

"I am wondering what that exact moment is when we truly, truly love our jobs. Is it during the day, or at the end of the day, or is it years later looking back on all we accomplished? I think perhaps truly loving something is the ability to love it at that moment."

"A life is not worth living if you are sleepwalking through it."

"Let us start a revolution. Let us start a revolution that is not just about basketball shoes, or official licensed merchandise. I am prepared to die for something. I am prepared to live for our cause. The cause is caring about each other. The secret to this job is personal relationships."

Jerry Mcguire Mission Statement

Jerry Mcguire is one of my favourite movies. Tom Cruise plays the title role. Initially, i had seen the movie only for him but then i read up about the mission statement that Jerry makes in the 13th Annual meet. That pricked a few of the issues that i feel and face myself, although in a different light.

Some excerpts (found on the web) i like in Jerry McGuire's MISSION STATEMENT,
The things we think and do not say: thoughts of a sports attorney..

"Every time you allow a problem in your life, you are actually at a point of transformation. Crisis is a powerful point of transformation."

"I have not gone to India to explore my life, as my brother has. I have not been in a major car accident, or fathered a child. I have not created a life, nor have I killed anyone. I am neutral. I have a nice home, a nice car, a fiancee who makes my heart race. But I have not taken that step, or risk, that makes the air I have breathed for 35 years worthwhile. I once had a yellow couch. I got rid of it because it was neutral. My life is now like that yellow couch."

"But I have not taken that step, or risk, that makes the air I have breathed for 35 years worthwhile."

"And yet, as I sit here in the wonderful Miami Hilton, I have never been so happy to be alive. I have said "later" to most anything that required true sacrifice. Later I will spend a weekend reading real books, not just magazines. Later I will visit my grandmother who is 100 and unable to really know the difference. Later I will visit the clients whose careers are over, but of course I promised to stay in touch. Later later later later. It is too easy to say "later" because we all believe our work to be too important to stop, minute to minute, for something that might interfere with the restless and relentless pursuit of forward motion. Of greater success. Make no mistake, I am a huge fan of success. But tonight, I propose a better kind of success. I could be wrong, but if you keep reading and I keep writing, we might get there together."

"Somehow all this has been bubbling up inside me. A man is the sum total of his experiences. And it is now that I am interested in shaping the experiences to come.
How can we do something surprising, and memorable with our lives? How can we turn this job, in small but important ways, into a better representation of ourselves?"

Still thinking, still contemplating......

The Gods are smiling upon us, me!

There couldn't be a better time to have this astronomically novel night. To me, it's like a reassurance that everything's gonna be okay!

Yesterday late evening while returning back from work, a lady in the train was telling her kids on the phone to look at the sky to check out the moon. i thought it must be something silly or oh-this! kind. But just as i stepped out of the station, i looked up.

The moon was right there smiling. And Chanda Mama was smiling such that it immediately lifted my spirits, brought a broad smile on my face. It made me feel blessed! Someone up there is looking after me, us and is there! Someone up there is smiling upon me, us!

i immediately smsed my friends. Some of them cold catch it and i specially asked my friends to show it to their kids.

Wow! What a sight!
That lady also had said that this is an once-in-centuries sight.
I feel inexplicably blessed and lucky to have seen such a beautiful picture.
Thank You Almighty! We, me just needed it.
Fascinating!

P.S. i regretted having a camera-less phone, for not getting to capture that divinely sight. Nonetheless, the memory is captured in the heart :)

Sentiment voiced by every Mumbaikar!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmJccJW_t0w

This is a common sentiment shared by all of us.

Let us direct this anger to something concrete, to some sizeable resolution!

Hope!

Mumbai is reeling under the aftermath of the recent terror attacks. And it is not a very novel or a new happening. Mumbai and places world over have experienced this in the last decade.

Can barely understand the agony and pain of those who experienced it first-hand.

Something somewhere is going seriously wrong. And it needs to be corrected and real soon. So much hatred, so much recklessness, so much inconsideration!

On a bigger picture, i think, the every day small outbursts of anger, revengeful thinking, hatred and what not is accumulating to manifest such a dreadful representation of evil.

A small example. These days on train travels, i had started becoming increasingly intolerable of people's behaviour and was nursing some kind of anger and hatred. i somehow feel these petty things are responsible, indirectly. This and many more.

i suddenly felt that maybe there is a lot of sweating over the small stuff happening around in my mind.

i have become a tad bit tolerable after this incident and hope it lasts and i and everybody else grow in love. Then maybe, these incidences can be avoided.

To start with, let us not harbour any ill-feelings for the terrorists. Well, it is easier said than done. And it is particularly easy saying that sitting in the comforts of your home, in front of the TV and just discussing things from a viewer's point of view. But this is the permanent solution, methinks.

And for me, it means getting more tolerant towards those ladies in the train compartment, getting more loving towards J, understanding other people's point of views, giving more than expecting.....

Taking steps towards it :)

Hope!

Bidding adieu to my Bestt Frendd!

i saw a tear in my eye and realised that saying goodbye is not easy.

My senior at work, Bestt Frendd quit and is gearing up to shift to the US. Not just work wise, i had grown attached to him otherwise too. And so i feel sad.

With him guiding me at work, i did not have much to worry. Now suddenly, work looks burdensome. In the last few months, circumstances had turned such that i had an inkling that it wouldn't be long before he takes this decision. But when you have to face the fact, it is difficult, i just realised.

A few instructions for you, Satyajit:
1. Stop smoking
2. Wish me on my birthday
3. Send me a gift for my wedding, whenever that happens (if you don't attend, that is)
4. Send sweets when you have a baby :)
5. Be there when i need your advice
6. Visit India every year and tell us when you do
7. Keep us informed about your whereabouts
8. Remember i'll write your biography when you become famous
9. Stop smoking

Dude, to state the obvious, i'll miss you! Work won't be the same again.

You have a good life!

Tracking food intake

Hate to track food intake.
Hate it even more to note that i feel hungry every ONE hour.
Can anybody believe it???
It is worse than little babies.
:(

A confusing experience!

A few days back while i was travelling back home from work, i encountered a strange experience on the train.
The picture as it happened -

At Kurla, 2 guys stepped into the 1st Class ladies compartment. They were wearing khaki pants, holding dandas but wearing casual shirts. At first, the ladies didn't notice or maybe they thought these are security guys. But 1 woman while she was talking on the phone noticed it and started shouting, "Arre, ye kya hai? Aap kaise andar aa gaye?". By that time, the train had already started moving and was just about leaving the platform.

Suddenly, all ladies near the door diverted their attention to the guys. They all started protesting. One among them, standing just before me, was howling. Some of her words were -
"Ladies compartment me kaise ghus gaye aap log?"
"Gents me jao na, udhar nahi chadne ko milta hai toh idhar aa jaate ho!"
"jab zaroorat hoti hai tab toh kabhi nahi hote ho"
"chalo utro ab"

Those guys weren't answering back very strongly, they were just saying that we have just finished our duty here and have to report at Ghatkopar station in explanation of the non-uniformed appearance. The ladies then started demanding to look at their ID Cards. The guys were telling each other to show it to them and end it all. They eventually did show it. But the ladies had a problem with the idea that they were off-duty & still travelling in the women's first class compartment.

One woman who was seated started her thing listening to the noise. She was saying things like -
"Kaun hai kaun hai, kya hai?"
"Tu apna ID Card deekha phir main bolti hoon main kaun hoo"

The women literally started shoving them. The guys finally got down at Vidyavihar station.

i did not say a word. i was just looking at the turn of events with rapt attention. i was confused as to whether it is correct on the ladies' part to behave like that or were the guys really at fault. i am just putting down my thoughts and observations here -
1. i have seen security officers get in the ladies' compartment, so there was nothing drastically wrong with it.
2. The compartment was not crowded and the guys were leaning out so they didn't take up much space.
3. The woman who was standing before me, it seemed, was upset over some other thing and was taking it out on them ('cos in the earlier part of the journey, she was acting freaky and the sudden raising of her voice was strange)
4. The woman who was seated and was bragging about her standing in society came across as a complete fake. She must be some party worker's distant relative.
5. The mild-manners of the security guys was taken as their weakness and it put them at a disadvantage. Or are they really not allowed to board compartments like that??
6. The ladies didn't really have knowledge about the rules and regulations, they were just trying to throw their first class weight around.
7. The guards weren't leches, neither were they passing on lewd comments internally and laughing or stuff.

i narrated this incident to Pa and he said, that actually they are not allowed to travel in first class like this. One of his ex-employee is now working as a security guard and he had told him that we tend to get in but actually we aren't allowed. May be, there is more to it then, i guess.

After all this, i still felt that -
* There was no harm in letting them travel
* There was space in the compartment so they did not cause any inconvenience to anybody
* They were after all security guards whether off-duty or no, if something untowardly would have happened they would have definitely helped, at least their dandas would scare the defaulters away

Don't know who was right and wrong? i just stood there confused, not taking part in it, not taking sides.

Wish list!!!

This Saturday, i read this lead feature on Rouge, a supplement of the Saturday issue of Times of India. It had the following heading -
What's on your wish list?
If someone asked you what was the one thing you'd like to do, what would you say?

I don't know....what would i say???

Guess, i am still figuring out. Rather i have just started thinking about it.

What do i want from my life? What is the one thing i would like to do?

Broadly, maybe, i want a very luxurious life, a little bit of giving back to the society, improvising on lives, learning multiple skills, travelling the world, colouring life in brighter hues.

i want to write books, i want to do my work in the best capacity.

What work, no idea yet!!!!!

Thinking, contemplating, rummaging, meditating and some more :)
There is a higher purpose.

It is official now!

Earlier i had my doubts, i even thought, it was silly, how can one be happy after spending one's own hard earned money. But the realisation dawned upon me last night and it is the absolute fact.

'Shopping' can unfalteringly lift my spirits, dodge with my hunger pangs and is the official feel-good factor of my life.

Yesterday was a shopping bonanza day. With 5 major weddings coming up in December, shopping was all Indian and wedding wear. But, did it feel good, you asked?

I got a new office bag for myself too. A really big bag that i always wanted. :)

But i was surprised at the way my eating urges slept all through the 3 hours of purchasing. The moment i got into the car with the bags, i suddenly realised that i haven't eaten after lunch. That was the moment of great enlightenment.

Consumerism zindabad. Retail therapy is working superbly for me.

i think i am getting greedier and more materialistic but i figured that there is no way to come out of it other than experiencing it at the fullest.

So, it is a win-win for me. This way i'll shop for anything and eventually i'll let go of my crazy urges too:)

Till that time, let the Debit Card get swiped more and some more and then some more.

There is some more shopping to be done. My phone is going from worse to worst-ever, it is breathing its last, so that's on 'the list' too. A watch too. And an iPod and diamond ring and ear rings and........

Getting fit, thin, sexier :)

Yes dahlings. i have joined Mickey Mehta's 360 Degree fitness center. After a lot of deliberations and convincing Ma & Pa, i finally enrolled myself.

Aiming at drastic weight loss the healthy way, i chose Mickey Mehta because they don't have any equipments at their centers which helps you to maintain the ideal weight.

Lifting dumbbells, using the ball, power yoga, kick boxing, aerobics and the works are the ways. And i have a dietitian who is tracking all my food intake.

The arms, calf muscles, thighs are all rebelling but one's got to do what one's got to do :).

Am missing chocolates, Misal Pav, sizzlers, but Arunima says it'll all be just a matter of few days. Hopefully!

But there is a will & determination that it is all leading to a better place where i wouldn't have to let go of a beautiful outfit because of unavailability of a larger size. Where i would be more confident and happy.

Apart from the body variations, i am feeling much more healthy in the mind too. More ready to face things and grow.

Love the change and inching every way towards that beautiful, sexier me ;)

Aamby Valley

Lonavala is such an exciting place now. All because of Aamby Valley. It is such a beautiful place. The ride to Aamby Valley was ghatwala, so was feeling a little giddy. But once you reach there, you know, it was way ahead worth it.

You drive in the gates as if you are entering a kingdom and feel so privileged because at any given time there are well-to-do hopefuls wanting to get in there but are not allowed as their name does not appear in the list of the gatekeepers.

Pa mentioned his name and the security guard checked whether there were only 4 persons in the car and let us in. As soon as we entered, the iron railing door closed and the guard asked us to follow the open jeep-like sexy thing. We followed gleefully and with eyes wide open.

The eyes were wide open and gawking for most part of the trip. Wow, the place is so beautiful. The way they have maintained it is absolutely amazing. Once in, you have everything for your entertainment, relaxation right from beach volleyball to reading in a well-stocked library.

The food is amazing, service prompt and helpful. The rooms were spanking clean and the bathroom was amazing. They had jacuzziiiiiiiii.......

In that 10,000 square feet of area, you have a beach area called lagoon, a fisherman's wharf, a 18-holes golf course, 3 swimming pools, 3 restaurants serving yummy food, gymnasium, club, lawn tennis, carrom, conference rooms, seminar rooms, auditorium, you name it and you have it.

2 days are just not enough. Even if you plan to stay indoors, you feel like royalty. We reached and my folks got ready to go see the place and when they knocked on my room door, i had nicely fallen asleep. :)

They woke me up forcibly at lunch hour which was at 1500 hours. Had a sumptuous meal and set out to check out the place. A sales manager showed us the entire model of the place. They had built villas and chalets Spanish and Victorian style of 1 acre and so on. The lowest range of holiday home costs a whopping Rs. 1.40 Crore.

The sheer luxury that you experience there makes you work hard and be able to afford it. There weren't too many visitors maybe because it was Diwali. But the place was fabulously lit up in the evenings.

There is this huge bridge there that acts as itself between the west and east side of the area. That bridge is absolutely stunning. Resembling the one that is in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam shown in the climax. Another highlight is the humongous Bharat Maa statue in the beginning. Absolutely astounding and gorgeous. Maa Tujhe Salaam!

We played golf, first time ever. There another family of 4 (Mother, father & 2 daughters) were trying their hand at it, just like us. We were smiling and laughing at each other's bloopers and supposed good shots :)The next day i was in the shower for almost an hour and a half, as if i hadn't taken bath since a week and ain't gonna for another week. :)

It was a lot of fun. This was the first time just the 4 of us had gone out but had good fun. If we had company, we would have taken up more activities. Nonetheless, good fun and a list of choicest adjectives for the visit.

Hoping to go there again and this time to actually buy a nice holiday home there. Amen!

The feeling lingers on

Do i turn over a new leaf?
Or do i carry on as it is?
Am too lazy to change and unready to move away from my comfort zone.

Diwali is my favourite festival but the enthusiasm is distracted.
Have great plans too but right now am feeling low and confused and despaired and bleak.

i don't want responsibility, but i also want power.
Why does great power come with great responsibility and vice versa?

Outwardly it is all fine.
The lights are gleaming on my balcony grill but the inside is in turmoil.
Self-created one.

i am too ready to accept defeat and i hate myself for that.
Is this an attempt to seek sympathy and avoid change?
Seems quite likely.
Hate it more.

Hate, too strong a word.
Love, too distant.

In between i oscillate and exist.

Let this Diwali be the true warding-off-darkness types.

An early morning movie experience

Hello world!
On Sunday, i watched the movie 'Hello'. And the show timing was 0800 hours. Yes, on a Sunday morning.

i didn't want to get up in the morning, but J made me get up. Got ready carelessly in a jiffy (whos gonna look at me at that hour :) Slept all through the ride to Sion Cinemax. Eyes testimony to my sleepy state, i trudged along with my sister into the cinema hall. To my surprise, there were quite a few early birds. Mostly, collegians having bunked their classes and tuitions, maybe keeping their folks at home in the dark :)

The ticket rates were pretty cheap - 60 bucks for each. How much do you think i would waste on a one star rating movie. And that was the main reason for the early morning movie outing. The refreshments counter were not open yet when we entered.

Ok, now about the movie -
Well, it is exactly like the book - One night @ the call center. Good message but mediocrely handled. The first half is interesting and enjoyable. You look forward to what happens next. The second half is very rushed and unreal. Just like the book, the end in the movie seems like it had to be finished hurriedly, mindlessly.

Sharman Joshi is brilliant. Gul Panag's talent is wasted with nothing much to do. Amrita looks cute and convincing in her role. Ishha Koppikar is okey-dokey. Sohail too is nice. The scenes are a little disjointed. The villain Dalip Tahil very easily and stupidly accepts defeat and leaves.

The movie could have been better with some slick direction, witty dialogues and good music. The treatment would have been the breaking point. But Atul Agnihotri did not use his mind and just blindly followed the book.

The underlying message of the book and the movie is very good. The four things - hardwork, imagination, self-confidence and failure - that can lead to success are absolutely true. Just that it is not presented in an impressive manner.

To win you have to overcome the fear of failure. Fear of failure is one factor that does not let you take flight with all you have. A very dear friend of mine had also told me the same thing a few days back. Seems like this is some kind of an omen for me.

The movie has a message and if you only take that message and ignore everything else, you can say that it is a good movie. Well, but you don't need to watch the movie for that. Just learning about the message is enough. Moreover, there is nothing new in the message too.

So, if you are free and hell-bent on watching any movie on a Sunday morning then go for it, just as i did (for my sister's sake though).

Why?

Why can i not have that one thing that i so dearly want?

Why can i not be happy and cheerful all the time?

Why is other people's behaviour affecting me?

Why is there no control over things?

Why can i not gel with the scheme of things?

Why do i feel the need to break out of the rut?

Why can't i give more?

Why am i not content with what i have now?

Why does life pose questions at me every now and then?

Why, is there such a thing called peace and calmness in me?
Absolutely!!!

Kid nap

i just came back after watching the movie 'Kidnap'. The kid Imraan Khan is the only saviour in the film. Otherwise it is all nap.

The plot is quite interesting but the treatment very shallow and manipulative. Manipulative because the team has used all the tactics to make the film a money minting instrument. Skimpy clothes, heroine coming out of the sea in a bikini and other such unwanted things are just forcefully added to draw viewers unconvincingly.

I wonder what was the producer or whoever's majboori to cast Vidya Malvade in the role of Minisha Lamba's mother. Needless to say, she doesn't look convincing. Not as Minisha's husband, not as Sanjay Dutt's wife. Minisha looks jaded. Not very comfortable in the bold clothes & all.

The story could have been keeping-you-on-the-edge types but Imran's childhood episode is not very effective and believable. The clues also are not very intriguing and intelligent.

Hmmm....i almost took a nap writing about it :)

my T-shirt

"i'm daddy's little angel"

That's the quote on my new T-shirt.
And i am so thrilled about it.

i am daddy's
i am little
i am an angel

Wow! i just love it soooooo much.

i thank the brand Honey for producing such a T-shirt.
i thank Pantaloons for keeping such merchandise.

i just walked in the store and saw this writing on the T-shirt, looked for the size XL and just bought it without even trying it.

Hey! Don't mind the size XL. i am still little :) :) :)

Come to think of it, these little things in life give you so much happiness.

Yey! i'm daddy's little angel!!!!

(silently)

How do i feel now?
1. Restless
2. Tensed
3. Anxious
4. Scared
5. Introspective regards why am i feeling the way i am
6. Holding on to something that i can't have
7. Lesser individual
8. Burdensome

How do i want to feel?
1. Free, liberated
2. Inspired
3. Cheerful
4. Enthusiastic
5. Inspiring
6. Alive
7. Happy

i want to stop running, chasing.
i want to be me.
Nothing and nobody is stopping me but myself.
Maybe i know the way but am not sure what is not letting me move.

Train journeys

College, Pa's office, my office - i have always travelled by trains. Being the most reliable and speedy mode of transport, i have always preferred going by train.

When i was in college, chatting with friends, gossiping and talking as if no one's around used to be the ritual.

When i was going to Pa's office, reading, listening to music on the cell phone was the ritual.

Now, reading and observing people is the mainstay.

Sometimes in second class, mostly in first class, myriad experiences are attached with the train travels. Striking, recent and old ones with my perceptions & judgments of it, listed here -
1. A really fat, good looking, fair girl reading the autobiography of Muhammad Ali - the boxer. Very likely that she or some of her family member would be associated with boxing.

2. A brand conscious girl wearing Nike floaters, Esprit Bag, Levi's Jeans, a huge Diamond ring, Sprint sunglasses engrossed in her book. i saw her a couple of times and the elite struck each time.

3. A girl boarding the train at almost the same time as i do, stays near my area, as 'healthy' as me, remains aloof, looks introverted like me. i always think we should be friends but never take the initiative.

4. Educated, high-paying job holding, smart, English-speaking, modern women throwing leftover food, food packets, wrappers outside the window unabashedly. i keep staring at them and giving them looks that should make them feel ashamed. But, they just carry on and i don't gather the courage to tell them anything.

5. Middle class women trying to take full advantage of travelling in the first class compartment.

6. The struggle visible on the faces of middle class women who have travelled in second class all their life and can now afford to travel first class.

7. The loud chatter of Gujarati, small-time businessmen playing cards and discussing their moves in a typically irritating manner.

8. Young Gujarati fellas making a loud, irritating show of their stupid ringtones thinking girls get impressed by such antics.]

9. Women informing some unsuspecting and some intentional women passengers getting on the first class compartment about their folly. The undertones range from concern to show-off.

10. Few women trying to seem cool by looking into their books and from the corner of their eye watching who's noticing.

11. Number of women asking one by one where i would be getting down, so irritating.

Everyday the experiences get richer and educative by more observations. If you want to read and know more about human nature, you have to take the train ride. Easily the most educating, the hundreds of human emotions and feelings get displayed here every single time. Some days, i just observe each one of them putting down my book. Guess, they educate too.

Astrological Sunday

This Sunday, 21st September 2008 was an astrological day. Felt like the Almighty, my destiny was trying to tell me something.

On the same day, one astrologically inclined man told me that i may have to compromise my dreams. And, in a matter of few hours, another told me you have an outstanding future ahead of you. All your dreams will come true and your future is just too fabulous.

i even talked with a few persons about their beliefs regarding astrology and whether they follow the predictions and 'remedies' suggested by the consultants. i heard mixed views. Extremes too. One was a staunch believer in the science of astrology and another one in the futility of it.

i got confused about my beliefs myself. i had decided that i'll never consult anybody and always do my best to have the life i want after the Me magazine experience. The story goes like this - A couple of years back, i used to read my weekly forecast in this magazine called Me published by DNA. One week, it so happened that i read some very positive things in my star sign column. Things like, i'll have success and approvals from those who matter, my views would be appreciated. So, i started getting a little overconfident. i did not put in the required efforts thinking that i am destined to be appreciated so i don't need to do my best. The forecast was more or less right. But after a few days, those half hearted endeavours backfired and i had to listen to some music.

Some other week, i read that this week would be negative. Your efforts may not get appreciated. With immediate effect, i slackened in my efforts. My enthusiasm dipped. my thinking went something like this that whatever or howmuchever i try, my work will be criticised. Later on, i realised that, had i put in some sincere, honest efforts, my work would have been good and at least, i would have the satisfaction of giving my best.

Both ways, whatever the forecast, i can surely say that, it had a negative effect on me. So, when i was asked to get my future read by somebody, i was in a state of dilemma. i did not want to know. But i am proud of myself in one respect - i still believed that my thoughts will decide how my life will be.

Though the dreams that i have been holding on to, the visualisations that have become the reason of my existence were a little jostled. my beliefs were shaken or at least questioned. Of course, no astrologer can tell you the exact events of your future life. But sometimes such talks tend to make you go back and maybe reassess your dreams. Rather reassess the reasons for wanting what you want.

i was just thinking what is driving my passions. Is it jealousy, competition, one-upmanship or vision, betterment, growth? Maybe, that is what i had to rethink. And that is what i am thinking now and putting into perspective.

i immediately arrive to this idea - one thing's for sure - my life will meet its purpose and be a life lived. Amen!

Destinies are being realised.

Desire

i am working on this website for Thailand. Reading about it has upped my desire to visit it. The range of shopping options available there are just too amazing. The water activities immensely tempting.

i have already started imagining myself shopping stuff for myself, for my family, friends...
Being underwater watching some beautiful creatures...
Biking on a countryside road...

i think i should start saving or buttering Pa to plan a trip.
Hmmm.....

Beloved blogging

Man! i have got hooked on to this blogging thing. i put on my headphones, listen to some melodies on the laptop and log on to my accounts. i check out the articles posted by fellow bloggers.

Half listening songs, reading articles. Almost following lives.

Look at the way Amitabh Bachchan is using his virtual space. Paulo Coelho posts on his blog interesting stories and stuff. It is fun reading them, almost like bedtime stories that has a morally beautiful take out in it.

There is so much you can do with blogs. From addressing larger issues (larger in terms of affecting masses) to expressing the most delicate personal emotions. You can voice your opinion about issues in your gully as genuinely as any national issues. Or maybe express your love for somebody. :)

Sometimes, you are allowed to ramble too. Yes, if you want your thoughts to make a difference then you have to write levelheadedly. You can absolutely write anything. It is your space, explore!

Rock on and on and on!!!

Yes, i saw the movie and cannot keep my opinion about the movie to myself. It has to be expressed.

Overall impressive movie involving a contemporary style of filmmaking.
The Pluses -
+ Farhan Akhtar is brilliant. (methinks tis the first time a director has turned actor. His credibility in acting too shows. Brilliance can be moulded in any art)
+ Prachi Desai is a surprise package. (dear, move away from those mindless Ekta Kapoor soaps, you have talent to fit into bigger screens and challenging roles)
+ The entire cast is a natural. Yea...Arjun Rampal too.
+ The wise thing is Arjun has been given a suitable role. If he has had a track record and labelling of being a woodden actor, well, then so be it. Some real life characters are like that.
+ The script is very tight.
+ The lifestyle, presentation is very sleek, urbane and cool. Just the way me and most like me like it.
+ Romanticises rock culture quite authentically. (theme under utilised in Hindi film industry)
+ The scene where Sakshi is asked to sing and she says, I know only Hindi songs. Beautiful to say the least.
+ The real scenarios and practicalities of real, family life.
+ Joe's entry on the stage when he ultimately turns up after other members lose hope. Total rock star material.
+ The subtle, diluted, toned down contempt portrayed. And no enmity or scenes created when confronted.

The minuses -
- Music could have been better.
- More detailing on Adi's character in terms of depth in portrayal of why he keeps himself tightly shut on matters related to music.

If you want one take away from this film, then - follow your passion and live a happy, fulfilled life.

Wow!!! Inspiring.
Shall get a DVD when it's out.

Till next Paryushan!

Yesterday was the first day after Paryushan. The day we bow our heads before elders and seek forgiveness. More importantly, forgiveness from the Almighty for all the known and unknown mistakes, sins and vices we may have contracted. Ditto for family and friends. Knowingly or unknowingly, if i hurt somebody through my words, deeds or action, then i bow my head and sincerely, with all i have, ask for pardon.

Forgiveness is given and asked for from people of any age. We have been taught to touch the feet of our elders. Older not just in age. i touch my sister's feet who is just 3 years older to me and who i fight with day in and day out. Well, that's what the whole point is. So, that forgiveness is rightfully deserved. The fact that the fighting starts the very next day after the act is a different story. After all, what would i ask for forgiveness next year.

That reminds me about one more aspect of Michchami Dukkadam. You even ask for forgiveness to somebody you haven't spoken with in years.

Hmmm....over the last few years, i have become consistently disinterested in celebrating Paryushan. There's no celebration in terms of festivities. Paryushan is more towards penance, tolerance and giving up. Jainism advocates you to not do a lot of things you do in everyday life and do a few noble things. Not that you are whipped or looked down upon, but it kind of makes you feel guilty, lesser mortals.

When you see people come out of temples wearing new outfits during Paryushan they have a serious look on their faces. The enthusiasm is lacking. You can be enthusiastic even when you are fasting for 8 days straight. Maybe, my lack of enthusiasm has got to do with my upbringing. We were never among the very keen Jain families. Having said that, i am sure someday i would really enjoy it all. Till then, i am cool with the formality of going through it.

Well with work & all this year, it really didn't seem like it except of course for the food. Food is a big time low point of Paryushan. Just for 8 days, though :)

My take on Bachna ae Haseeno

I watched this movie because:
1. Ranbir Kapoor
2. I had liked Salaam Namaste (the director’s first movie)
3. I like movies with an urban setting
4. Ranbir Kapoor
5. Ranbir Kapoor


Ranbir is oh-so-perfecttt!!

Minisha looks old, till now I had found her cute and sweet. But in this one she looks wrinkled and not fresh, so to speak.

Bipasha looks smart in her hot pants. After interval she looks vulgar in a few scenes.

Deepika ohhh fugget it. Ugh

I liked the concept of going back and asking for forgiveness and doing whatever it takes to get it. It is a huge task requiring a lot of gumption and sincerity.

Ranbir likes Deepika (double ugh)

In the title track, Deepika looks as though she is blind and is just smiling without knowing where to look. Whatever.

The kisses are nice. Don’t look clumsy. Sweet, sexy and genuine.

The style and panache of a Yashraj movie is intact.

A fun movie. Watch it for the entertainment value.

Family get together - Had a blast and how!

15th, 16th and 17th of August 2008, my paternal side family had gathered at Solapur for the Pasali and a short fun trip. Home to my fuias and Pa & kaka living there, Solapur has always been a place we look forward to visit.
The preparations had begun much earlier on. Each family had been asked to perform. Everybody had been busy - shopping, rehearsing, spending hours in beauty parlours, buying gifts, preparing sweets and the works.....
Our meetings, program preparations, menu, scheduling programs had been following up on long distance calls to and from Solapur. The frenzy and tempo was building up.
i was doubly excited because of the drive :D. Was so enjoyable in the rains. Ma and J thought it was too risky. Poor souls, when Pa and me are decided on something, can anybody change it :) Pa was as excited as me because it was the first time, he was driving in the town, gullies and chowks he had grown in. He proudly drove it to his friends' places he had grown up with. Every morning when we would go to sleep after playing teen patti (man played like crazy, everybody from Ma to Priyal), talking whole night, he would just take the car and a companion and go to Siddheshwar lake, temples, Budle Gully and places he had memories of. Love you Pa for the child like happiness you found in it.
The queues to the loo, the insistence on using the same dressing table in a big house, complimenting each other for dresses, sharing clothes, was what brought us closer. Time table was put up in each room so that everyboody knew when to be ready.
We directly drove to the farm on the 15th where had the traditional Marathi jevan (loved by my fuias, Pa, J. i personally dont like it that much), played games, ate oos (sugarcane), peru (guava). Next day celebrated Raksha Bandhan traditionally in the morning. Pa and Kaka getting rakhis tied first, the younger fuias touching their feet and brothers giving their cash envelope. Then it was the turn of our generation - me, J, Priyal, Mital, Maitri tying rakhis on Rohan, Chinku-Pinku, Niket's wrists. Rohan gave us cash and Niket trendy bags. Yippee...Then the next generation tied rakhis - our cousin's kids -Devansh, Hetvi, Rushil and Mohnish.
Had lunch and started getting ready for the evening program. At City Park Hotel, performances ranged from speeches, dance performances, Antakshari, Star Parivaar Awards, Patriotic song rendition. Had good fun. Our team won in Antakashari, all thanks to me, in all humility ;). The best beta award won by Harish Kaka, best bahu by Ma, best youngster by Chinku. Wooo hooo.... All my favourite people.
The highlight of the evening was the slide show. Rohan had collected everybody's pictures - old, new, eccentric, funny. The sequence was childhood, youth, wedding, kids, everybody together of the physically present and Shradhanjali to the soulfully present.
Whistled, laughed at the young photos of elders, flung kisses at Adha's photos, cried at Jijaji's photo, it was all too overwhelming. Everybody was missing Adha, Pragnesh Jijaji, Bai, Gunvanti Fuia. Crying for their Wife, Husband, Grandpa, Father, Mother, Son-in-law, Sister. A 31 minute show of just slides of photos can do that to you. Danced to the tunes of the DJ Rohan playing songs on our laptop.
On Sunday, the 17th, had a photographer clicking pictures of everybody. The photo session. Women wore Bandhani sarees (oh so beautiful), men in churidar kurta (oh so dashing). Was fun. Everybody getting ready as if were going to be on the cover of PEOPLE, TIME, VOGUE magazines. Of course, the memories were much more precious and valuable.
Had free time after that. Pramila fuia started her Tarot Card Reading. Man, the counter was so successful. Everybody asking questions like - will I be a big industrialist, will my son have a good health, will my daughter get a good, rich husband, will I top the university. Some happy faced, some hopeful faced came back with more questions. The ladies went out shopping. Can a trip end without a shopping extravaganza? Never with the Gala's.
Most of them left by train that night. Went to the ticket counter to get 7 platform tickets. The ticket guy must be wondering how many are actually going then??? Came back and gifted Kaka for completing 50 years in June, Chinku -Pinku for successfully passing their 12th and Rohan just like that :)
The drive back was even more exciting with stop overs at Lonavala for chai and shopping for Fudge and admiring scenic beauty. The drive on the express highway was crazy. Though sped only to a maximum of 120.
All in all, good fun. Shall create something great every year.
Three cheers to the Gala family. Hoorayyyyy!!!!

The Wallet. The Secret. The Miracle.

Happy and feeling victorious, I put my bag on the TV table as soon as I entered the house even before removing my footgear. And a few things spilled out of my bag and immediately I realised that I hadn’t zipped up my bag after the last dealing with the bag. I don’t know what made me do that but I immediately checked for my wallet. I checked the bag, emptied it of all its belongings, checked the shopping bags and there was no sign of the wallet. A sharp, pointed blow of fear was rising up my belly and it became clear that the wallet was missing. Ma was inside, J talking on the phone. I asked J to check the bag again and ran down the stairs as if a wild cheetah was following me to look for it near the wing. The rain had thickened at that point. I went down looking for the wallet at every step as if it were a mustard seed. I walked quickly to the gate, looked around staring at rickshaws and rickshawwalas, trying to place the cycle rider and the auto driver. The autos were slowing down in the hope of getting a passenger. I walked back, looked around the wing area and went back thinking that the wallet might be lurking out from some corner of my bag.

I saw the small streaks of panic growing on Ma’s face when I got back. Everybody checked as much as could be checked. I looked down from the window to see if anybody was in sight to give the wallet back. Because as the events had unfolded, it seemed likely that either the rickshawwala or the cyclewala must have seen it or even picked it up. With absolute faith in humanity and goodness, I was expecting to get back together with my favourite wallet, my recent purchase. Ma went downstairs to check and I followed her. We stopped at the same places where I had stopped before. I was telling her the details of how things had unfolded. The quiver in my voice was making her worried for me. I was standing at the gate of my building, waiting, nervous, helpless. Ma took me by my arm and tried to reassure me. She held my hand and we walked back home.

The fact that the wallet was indeed gone finally registered.

When I was back to thinking calmly, I remembered the contents of my wallet –
Kotak Mahindra Debit Card
1st class Railway Pass (expiring on 04th September)
PAN Card
Driving license
A prayer card
A Rs. 500 note
Few Rs. 100 notes
Some coins
Shiamak Davar’s ID Card
Pantaloons Green Card

Pa had gotten up from his bed by that time. I settled down on a chair near the dining table and rounds of advices, rebukes and sympathies followed. I immediately asked Pa the procedure of blocking my Debit Card. Called up the toll-free number and told the Kotak Mahindra Bank representative Vishal to block it. He immediately processed the request and confirmed the last transactions with me. Thankfully, it was all safe so far. Thanks to the technology and prompt, expert assistance, I was relieved of further monetary loss.

I asked the representative about the procedure to get a new card. He said he will have to take a new card request and it would be delivered to me in next 7 working days. I wanted to ensure that I have the card soon. Realised have become dependent on this card that gave me financial independence J. So, I immediately asked for another card. Vishal warned me that once I make a request for a new card, the existing card (even if received back) cannot be unblocked. Or alternatively, I could wait for 24 hours and make a request after that. Without any second thoughts of waiting for my lost card, I applied for a new one. More than anything else, I wanted to be on the safer side. The hopes of getting my card back looked flimsy. I had mentally prepared myself to accept the bitter truth. I was already missing my wallet. And I realised how much attached I was to it and how much proud I was to own it. It was gone now.

It was 2315 hours. Ma & J asked me to have my dinner. I had the bland Pulav without making a fuss about it (as if I could). I decided from that moment onwards - I’ll mend all my untowardly ways and be one obedient, responsible person. The Bai had not turned up yet again and so I decided to help Ma with the chores. But before that, I just felt the urgent need to write.

Write about the thankfulness of receiving my wallet back. Write about how I would narrate this tale to my friends at work. I wanted to see the magic of The Secret at work. I gave out signals to the universe that I want to or rather I am united with my wallet. I said thanks for getting it back, hence turbo charged my desire. And I said it with absolute faith and total joyousness. I completely believed in the fact that it can reach back to me even though at that moment, logically it seemed unnatural. I did not mention how is it going to be or what contents should be retained. I just wanted the wallet back unconditionally.

I sensed a smile forming on my face after writing it.

I quickly shut down the computer and went about with the helping. Without telling anyone and slowly forgetting about it, I continued with the chores. But somewhere at the back of my mind, I was definite that it is materialising. Before writing, we were calculating the hassles and money that would go into getting the things back. It all came to about Rs. 2,500 what with driving license, PAN card, railway pass, Debit Card re-issuance fee and the hard cash lost. Pa was reassuring me that it is still much lower than the loss of his Rs. 13,000 mobile phone. (Pa had lost his a couple of weeks back). I very meticulously put the papers required for a duplicate driving license in my bag as I would require it for the long drive to Solapur coming up soon. I was accomplishing the long procrastinated task of submitting the photos and documents for account opening in HDFC Bank since October 2007 (the time I joined). I carried on with my work. Ma had calmed down a bit but she was still very negative about the whole thing. Looking at it as a whole rather, she was saying that times are just not turning in our favour. I had objected to it saying why you inviting bad times by letting out the thoughts, based on such a small incidence. She didn’t say anything after that, but she was not convinced to let go of the negativity.

At around 0010, I was in the kitchen when my cell phone rang. I just picked it up plainly without any bloated hopes. And as the seconds between my hello and the words from the caller were progressing, I was getting anxious. Maybe The Secret has come out with a verdict and my prayers are being answered!!! The conversation that ensued was something like this –
Dishpa: Hello
Caller (Female): Hello, Kya aapka naam Dishpa hai
D: Haa
C: aapka wallet kho gaya hai?
D: haa haa….
C: Kya aap mujhe issi number pe call kar sakte hai?
D: Ok ok…

Jumped up in joy. Everybody had already gathered around me and were trying to get in on the who, where, what of the call and the whole thing. I felt triumphant.
Called the dialed number from the landline.

D: Hello…main Dishpa bol rahi hoon. Wallet ke liye. Aapki awaz clear nahi aa rahi(Disturbance in phone grrr….)
D: Main aapko kahan milu, wallet kaise collect karu?
C: DhanLaxmi dukan ke baaju me hamara phool ka dukan hai.
D: Dhan Laxmi dukan kidhar hai?
C: 90 feet road pe. Siddhivinayak mandir ke nazdik.
D: Main kitne baje kal aau?
C: Jab bhi aapko convenient ho
D: Aap milenge na?
C: Haa…Main idhar baju me hi kaam karti hoo. Aap aa jao kabhi bhi
D: Ok, toh main 9 baje aati hoon. Thanks again. Aapko kaise mila wallet
C: Mere Papa ko aapki building ke paas mila hai
D: Ok, ok. Thanks.

All along there was a lot of disturbance in the phone. I could hardly hear her. I somehow managed to confirm the minimal details.

The few moments after I hung up the phone were a blur. I couldn’t believe that my wallet still bore the tag of my belonging and was only in a temporary possession of somebody else. I told family about whatever little details transpired from the talks. It took a while to believe that The Secret had worked and shown results so promptly. Actually I had got more than I had asked for. But that’s how it always has been for me. I always get more and will continue getting more.

Ma said alright even if you have got the wallet does not mean that you can now be your careless self again. God has given you a chance to get responsible. And the sounds were just dashing on my ear lobes not making any sense. Silently, I was wondering at the miracle that had just happened in my life. A clear signal the Superior Power had given me. I felt my connection with the universe is really strong and direct.

I am reproducing here what I had written as an affirmation.
05\08\2008

I got my black wallet purse back. I am so thankful to God for giving it back to me. It is so dear to me. I am treasuring it very keenly. Only You could make this possible. You don’t know or rather know how much I wanted this wallet back. Thanks a hundred tons for giving it back to me.

I know God that you are making its way back to me. Thank You so much for this. I love You God and I am always careful about this. I am responsible and care taking.

I am so sure.

Pa was happy and he too was of the opinion that you really have a strong connection with Him and can get what you want. I found myself walking four inches above the ground but at the same time felt one with the universe, humble and giving. We were then analysing and discussing the how’s and what’s of the phone call. The picture coming around was that the phoolwala i.e. cyclewala had deliberately picked up the wallet with the intention of robbing me of it. Because if he noticed it after the rickshaw went away, it was very clear that nobody else but I was the owner. Also, the amount of time taken to make the call made us suspicious. The unanswered question was why he decided to give it back then. Tried using logic that maybe his daughter who had called made him do that. Lots of theories were floating around, nevertheless I was just happy that my faith was reaffirmed. Also, I was experiencing this sense of perfectness and postivity creating an aura around me. And I didn’t want to dilute it with the negativities, however small they were.

I went to sleep thinking I’ll get up early and start a new life, almost.

Again, it was raining mildly when Pa and I left home to get my wallet back. We took an auto to reach the place. We had decided that we’ll meet at the Siddhivinayak temple since I couldn’t figure where Dhanlaxmi store was. I called her once before leaving. She said, you please come down to my work place which is near my residence. I asked the address. She explained it and gave the phone to her boss who again explained it to me by giving me the landmarks of DTDC Courier and a tiles store.

We asked the auto driver to slow down as that side of 90 feet road began. I first got down at a place a little farther than the destination. All the while kept calling this girl and her boss kept talking with me. After the last call, this guy got a little pissed about me not being able to find the place, as I had called him for the fifth time when we got there. The office was on a loft. I looked around and saw a young fellow motioning us towards the office. We climbed up. 2 girls, a middle aged man and a young man were working. Middle aged man seemed to be the boss. It was some furniture workshop.

I introduced myself. One of the girls was holding my wallet. She was beautiful, delicate, fair. She gave it to me immediately and asked me to check the contents. I said Thank you without bothering to check it. I started talking aimlessly, my mind wandering from one thought to another haphazardly. I told her again and again how grateful I was to get my wallet back. More than the money, I was concerned about the other things. On their insistence and Pa’s recommendation, I opened both the pockets of the wallet. Just glanced over the IDs and cards and took out the Rs. 500 note. I told Pa to give them the money in Kutchi. He asked me to go ahead. I handed out the money to the girl. By this time, her mother also had appeared. She denied vehemently. In order not to make her feel any less, I pleaded her to accept it. I said, this is just a small way of saying thank you. She said, you just say thank you and that is enough. I told her don’t take it as money; take it as just a token of appreciation. I told Pa to help me. He said; take it, she just wants to thank you. Then that girl took the money. We asked her how her father got the wallet. She said the same thing - it was lying outside your building.

All along the boss kept on jabbering. I wasn’t paying much attention to all that. Some of the things, he said were –
“pehle aap sab check kar lijiye”
“aaj kal ke zamane me koi aisa wallet lautata nahi hai”
“nahi, nahi paisa imp nahi hai, aap ne itna socha wahi bahut hai”
“achcha aapko itna ichcha hai toh inke daddy ko hi de do”
“aaj kal koi aisa appreciate nahi karta hai”
“aap log achche hai iske liye”

We walked down feeling good. Ma called up when I reached station. Told her everything.

All this happened when I was preparing for the big family do. I went shopping to Pantaloons opposite my office. Friends ditched me, family fed up of my shopping, I was on my own. Whenever I want to shop now, I don’t worry about whether I have the money or no. My Kotak Mahindra Bank’s Debit Card is always with me. And I am very grateful and delighted for the freedom and independence it gives me.

I took a cab for Currey Road station. The cab driver was angry because before me getting in, he had a rendezvous with the traffic police. So, he was driving recklessly. Surprisingly, I was being very understanding and accepting of his behaviour. I took out the money from my wallet and paid him, put the change back in the wallet, wallet in the bag and dropped off.

While sitting in the train, I put my shopping bags in my office bag, so that I don’t have to be careful about too many things, what with my big umbrella looming over me. When I alighted at Ghatkopar station, it was raining moderately. I got into a rickshaw from the Patel Chowk temple. There were too many people scrounging for rickshaws so I considered myself lucky to have got one immediately and smartly. The rickshawwala looked like a simple man, not-very-shrewd-in-money-matters types.

I took out a 10-rupees note from my wallet when I was a corner away from my building. I had become a bit conscious about my slightly plunging neckline. As it was raining, I asked the rickshawwala to drive inside the building gate. I asked him to stop right near my wing. A man was waiting there with his cycle. He looked in his fifties. I quickly got down and ran inside to avoid getting wet. Just instinctively and out of my conditioning, I looked at the cyclewala a little suspiciously for no logical reason. I looked back again at him before rushing upstairs.

On the second floor corridor a hotel menu leaflet was lying around. I was careful enough to not step on it. But was thinking everybody is not going to be that careful. Moreover that was a piece of paper (read Saraswati) lying on the floor. My benevolent mind was asking me to pick it up and put it at a safe place where it does not come under walkers’ feet. But my lazy self was not willing to bend half way down, adjust the things in hand and pick it up. I walked up a bit. Fearing I may not get Goddess Saraswati’s blessings for disregarding Her such turned back a few steps and picked it up again. I was happy that I listened to my benevolent voice. I felt I was one step closer to being a perfect human being.
This was the background before this incident happened.

When we were discussing about the return of the wallet, I had voiced my inclination to reward them with Rs. 500. At first Ma and Pa thought that’s a bit too much. But immediately they said no, if you think that’s the right amount, then go ahead. Ma said, tara man ma aavyu chhe to bhale.

The only reason I wanted to give that money was – I wanted to encourage their step of giving it back, the step towards humanity. I wanted the faith in humanity and goodness to be alive and kicking.

Hmmm….it is a really long post. Honestly, even I became impatient as I was finishing it. But this is an important incident of my life.
One thing’s sure - In my life, whenever I’ll feel low, I’ll just read this post. I am sure this will lift my spirits and rekindle hope.

The question still remains answered. And so that makes it more like a miracle. Unexplained, illogical, this wallet story is the one memorable incident of my life.

Shopping List :))

1. N 96 (whoaaa..)
2. Guitar
3. Diamond Ring / s (??)
4. Branded Watch
By the end of 2008, I will be having all of them :) and some more.
Er....Am i being too materialistic? Well, does anybody mind? Awwrightt then!!!!!

Expectations

i should, i must, i should have, why didn't i?

All these expressions have increasingly been finding place in my writing, in my thinking. More than anybody else's expectations, i am bogged down by my own set of expectations from myself. Sometimes, i feel i am caught between the way i am right now and the way i think i should be, ideally, of course.

This stems from the feeling that i should respect my individuality and be true to myself. On the other hand, i feel when i have the awareness that so & so behaviour will get me closer to being 'RIGHT', i should so act. Because my epectations are many. i wouldn't say big or small, because that again would be judgement.

i am trapped between the so-called RIGHTs and WRONGs of the society at large. It is not all that bad, i mean sometimes i manage quite fine. But i have noticed that i have become very minutely and sharply sensitive to criticisms or rather opinions.

Maybe the key lies in balance. Is it?

Inception

It will almost be one year since i started this blog without any posts. i don't know if it can be called a start or what but i registered one year back. In the middle of the night, after reading about blogging at certain places. i had thought to myself, enough of procrastinating, let me just start my blog. i did create my blog.

and now here i am with my first post.

My first post and i don't have any spectacularly great thoughts to let the world into.

But what the heck! it is just the beginning.

Watch out for the jottings of a genius :)